alsalamalikium waramatulahi wabarakatoe. May the peace, mercy and blessimgs of alllah swt be upon you all..
christmas time is always the most difficult time of year for many . especially if your whole life you have celebrated it as a family hoilday and not a religuiuos one.
life at the moment is so unsure. the unsurity of life as a whole is getting to me being nervous in certain situations especially involing people who i dont know.. this all spans from how i have been treated in life and peoples reactions to my deeds and possibly nonunderstanding of the reality of life long depression. and how it effects every realtionship in your life experiances. t is hard to find someone even this blog is making me doubt mysefl i always wonder if people read it and whther anyone understands. i maen it easy to say to someone that you understand but do you really i mean its horrible for me to see someone fighting against the thoughts memorys and experiances of the past. those experiances thoughts and memorys that wham bam then your gone and 3…2….1 your back in the room. i dont hate many things but i do hate this part of myself . but what has givenn em some comfort in the last few yeares is my belieaf in god and my understanding the the mental health issue is my test from him the almighty allah swt and how i go about it . the strugle is real and hard. but what keeps me going is the fact that one person shared with me and it helped them on thier path i shared and it started my journey.and i hope that one dy my ramblings will help someone else to realise it’s okay not to be oke. but it is important that you find a mannier to let those things out and share be it wrinting in a book or dictating to your fone. and dont worry about reading tings back that will come further on in your recorvey but dont be fooled it takes time.. it took time to get to the place where you are that you know yourself that there is something wrong and that the thing that you need is to talk to let it out i find my way of letting it out works best for me but i would never name any of the people in my life and i only keep the letter the same in one story so that if anyone that i knw reads it thats they will not feel like i am talking about them or bad mouthing them but it is a way to get everything off your cheast and most important you dont have to publish them you can keep the private but a online area that is safe for you your own safe haven in an app. or blog or diary. i have to say even though the general direction of this blog is about being depressed over the so called holiday season. i have never known anyhting different than adverts of the samaritains and how its important to talk and check on peolpe that are at risk.. snesitive people especially. i mean i myeslf have seen peope who have been affeted who have not nessary at the tiem realised that they where suffering but once better at once an understanding that where they have been could of been worse .btw suicide is Not an option…..THE WORLD WILL NOT and WOULD NOT be better without you in it. IF YOU FEEL LIKE THIS AND YOU FEEL YOU HAVE NO ONE YOU CAN MAIL ME
PLEASE feel free to mail or visit my face book pages
the struggke is real it is a test form god