As I sit here waiting to sign on to the food bank…

I think Alhamdulilah for all my blessings. My home, my kids, my close friends all of which without whom I would if been a very lost lamb in deed. The last six to seven years have been very difficult. From going to hating my ex to actually signing a Co parenting agreement with little fuss. Well in comparison to other people. But it has not been always that way.

I kept keeping this blog for a time I would be ready to write it but here goes.

I really fell deeply in love with a fellow island buddy m. We first met in Amsterdam and had a whirl wind few weeks but at that point I had already decided to go back to England to work for abit.

I went to live with my parents. But the whole time I was there I tried to work and earn money but it was going on alcohol.

Disclaimer :at no point am I condoning the lifestyle I once had which is no different to any other western life. Drinking drugs party’s…. Alhamdulilah I stopped drinking 2014. A sensible thing to do I was more a binge drinker but I had been doing it for years. With the way things went I have moments of stupid fall backs

With tics included. Scab picking being the main tic. And really half of the day goes buy by being in my thoughts. Which means being easily scared by mundane things. Someone saying something I am not necessarily thinking about anything in the particular. Then at once it’s time to leave time to go get me daughter the hours go buy fast cleaning my self with my body problems it’s hard to say but frequently occurring thing in women post pregnancy and women of the a certain age. But I am 36 and I have treatments at the following specialists now.


Plastic surgeon


Practice support



And regular two month controls at the Doctors .

These things I have always had a bit of problems. With but year by year these body problems get worse. But now I have to be honest I don’t know if they will ever get better


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