Daily thoughts….or chaos

Asalamalakium warahmahtulahi wabarakatoe may thepeace mercy and blessings of God be upon you all. Ameen

Salam and welcome to a somewhat Confronting blog for me thought points of the day.

Had been courting a guy was going to say gentleman but he is so far from it.

In public almost ignoring me but when we were  alone he’s kissed and hugged me and made me feel like a queen.

  • I ask myself what’s wrong with me and why when I dated another before I Reverted my ways, that he was so jealous that if he couldn’t have me now one can.
  • Why when I know before you do something that you are about to do it
  • Never ever meeting family and knowing friends through a usual places.
  • He still give me some self doubt that I am marriage material 
  • That I fell in rebound love to easy and struggled to understand his reasoning behind keeping me a secret 
  • Converting to Islam because of something that  a friend showed me touched me so much I privately took it upon myself to learn the deen
  • Very quickly realising that the brother on question actually didn’t know the difference between culture and religion
  • Wanting to be more well than I am mentally
  • But how much is that to do with him promising the world
  • Where previously no offer that was so had ever came out to be true
  • I have been somewhat naive letting him string me along.
  • While this time round it began because I missed having someone there
  • Being happy in the knowledge that unmarried I have little stress
  • Islamicly seen dating is I think a part of zinah which are sins attached to things with a sexual nature
  • To randomly getting to someone you have known along time over a cup of warm milk 

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